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From a Safe Distance

by Hides A Well

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1.
Retrospect 02:20
and what it was, we'll never know what we were making, what were we making? and what it was, we'll never know wasn't enough time to grow i know it's not here and it's all right, i never said enough and it's all right, we were never close enough and when you picture this and when i picture this i'll leave out the things you don't want if you leave out the things i don't want to remember were you this, were you that? was i this, was i that?
2.
oh, you never know were these thoughts always in my head, or pushed through the cracks by some random passerby? all the actors and producers hide it all so well are these my words or recycled soliloquys? oh what did i say? i never even thought of it oh what did i say? i don't mean a word of it oh what did i say? i never even thought of it this feels like a set up but there's no camera in sight am i hitting my marks too far left or too right? how many takes before we wrap this scene? am i alive, dead, awake or in dream? wait, i can't keep up you've gone off script and you're ad-libbing all your parts and this sudden monologue has got me out of sorts oh what did you say? you don't mean a word of it oh what did you say? you never even though of it oh what did you say? you don't mean a word of it i haven't heard a trace of the laugh track even though we're well past the second act hidden stresses have all taken their toll will i disappear when the credits roll?
3.
Sleepyhead 01:24
sleepyhead your eyes are closed thought you didn't want to be alone would you like to share a dream i know it's not quite what it would seem they told you how it all should look like crushed flowers in a book kept the pieces in a safe didn't want to stay but i don't make the rules the next door neighbor grew a beard often sang but you'd never hear his father left without a will the family fights about it still you never noticed on sunday he put the promise ring away waited near the pharmacy whispered something nervously "why don't she see me?" sleepyhead your eyes are closed guess you spend the night alone watching something on tv an x-files marathon till three never knew you used to write sketching stories late at night dusty notebooks on the shelf nothing that can't be helped but you will never know
4.
Prodigy 03:28
i want to be a prodigy and make everything seem so god damn easy. wish i could play beethoven's ninth underwater with a blind fold around my eyes i want to paint from memory every single freckle from your forehead to your knees. solve quadratic equations in my sleep.
5.
Little Bells 03:01
come see me at the same time everyday and the fields remind me of your hair makes me happy while i wait for you while i wait don't be a slave to monotony turn the lights on and off and on and on when the days are so short it seems we get nothing done 1 and 2, 3,4,5,6 count it off until it makes you sick do you own them, or do they own you? what's a king with nothing to rule? and everyone is trying to get away from themselves or from a place some things may always change but your responsible for what you tame and on the golden sand, i'll leave this land so you can have stars that laugh.
6.
the ink never quite took a hold in our skin erased without noticing only a few words left that's safe to call not saying much of anything at all always a few steps behind a lack of direction; the fault's always mine our foot steps are out of sync we are never where we are when we want us to be bull dogs and butterflies, superheroes, 25 cent surprise doesn't matter what you choose, it will wash off in a week or two
7.
speak as softly as you can with your hands out like you're approaching a wild dog saying, "please don't run away." but it's too late it's so easy to destroy but so hard to create the ideas we cradle softly, nestled safe and sound we so quickly surrender when no one is around and when we take these things off the shelf we can polish it and dust it but nothing really helps it will crumble to the floor without a peep all the fragments and debris start clawing at your feet i don't know what to build with this i don't know what to build with this always, always running your mouth takes so long to contain what should never come out little secrets piled each and every way slowly falling down crushing all in its wake gather the pieces, stack them up again glue and tape and staples - anything to help it mend each time i get cruder and easier to break it's so easy to destroy but so hard to create
8.
10 02:17
if i was smart i'd make a cloning machine and have ten different mes no need to choose no debates, take every chance make every mistake and i could do things i was always scared to do, and still have at least one or two of me that didn't have to i'd watch from a safe distance from a safe distance i'd watch as i go new places as i try to be ten different me's what i hate and what i need the unfamiliar and second trys at old memories what i fear will always be, but i'll watch it like it's tv if i watch from a safe distance i'll see you end up with one of me.
9.
you show up late, an hour or two there's no excuse that they won't see through so you punish them while smiling to keep the make up from running down your chin you just need to get through the night one step at a time then you wake up in the middle of the night you can't get back to the dream you had so you picture it in your head but it's not enough to get back you just need to get through the night one step at a time.
10.
everything i think are just bad dreams for when i'm not asleep. and what i miss are things that don't exist.

about

nr-037

credits

released September 1, 2013

Adam Kaniper - bass, guitar on "Prodigy"
Bryan Kwasnik - vocals, air organ, glockenspiel, guitars, keyboards, melodica, melodigrand, ukulele, wurlitzer
John Fisher - drums, vocals on "Secret Sitcoms"


with:
Gregg Hoekstra - bass on "Destroy/Create"
Jake Egan - drums on "Destroy/Create" and percussion on "Little Bells"
Jon Gusoff - piano and wurlitzer on "Little Bells" and "Prodigy"
Julia Hecht - vocals on "Destroy/Create" and Retrospect"
Melissa Lucciola - guitar and vocals on "Secret Sitcoms"
Steven Donahue - vocals on "One Step at a Time", "Prodigy", "Sleepyhead", and "Things that don't exist"


all songs by Hides A Well.
recorded and mixed by Bryan Kwasnik at Blue Comet Recording 2012-2013.
mastered by Kevin Carafa.
cover art by Bridgette Frank and Georgia Frank.

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Hides A Well Parsippany Troy Hills, New Jersey

insecurity put to melody.

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